I know I spend more time journaling about my own grief and sometimes feeling sorry for myself and I don't spend as much time thinking about others. Well, this week has been an exception to that for me. I think I need reminding once in a while that I am not the only one hurting over the loss of Chad.
This week my heart has been so heavy for Katie (Chad's wife). I have had many people tell me (and most likely her as well) that she is young and will move on and find someone new one day and still live a very full and happy life. Well, I pray that is what happens, but that does not lessen her sadness or grief today. She has experienced more in her short life than most adults ever will in their life time.
She was only married a year when he deployed to Afghanistan and for her to be living that deployment so closely and in CA alone for the most part was tough enough, but 5 weeks into the deployment as a wife to lose her husband and still be in CA alone is something I pray no one else ever has to experience and something I pray she is able to move on from one day.
I do hope and pray that she meets someone just as wonderful (in a different way of course) than Chad and not that this new person will ever replace Chad, however, compliment what she had with Chad and the new Katie.
Don't ever make the mistake that I've unfortunately heard people say that she didn't know him very long or that they weren't together that long. Grief and loss is no respector of person or time. Whether they had been together 2 years or 20 years, her pain is still real and her heart hurts and mourns a loss that most young women her age couldn't imagine. She has and continues to handle this tragic time in her life with class and as much maturity as a young woman can possibly have. I know she probably has good days (well, better days) and continues to have bad days or just plain old rough days (like it turns out she has had this week) and I hate that for her. I know it's part of the process, but we don't have to like it.
I try not to pry into her day to day life, but on the days when I can't get her off my mind I have to reach out to her and she always reaches back. She doesn't have to. She could certainly go on with her life and forget she ever knew me, but she doesn't do that. I'm very fortunate to have that with her. I would bet that there are some mothers that have daughter in laws that haven't experienced this kind of loss that don't have as good a relationship as what I believe Katie and I have had in our short time together. I pray that when she does find her new partner in life that he provides her with an amazing mother in law that will love her and accept her and treat her as her own. She deserves that as any daughter in law or son in law does. I just happen to feel a little more strongly about her as I know my son would want nothing, but the best for her and for her to be the happiest she could ever be.
Katie, I don't know if you ever read these anymore, but if by chance you read this one please know that there is someone out there for you and he will find you one day and when that day comes you will be ready. Always know that Chad will be smiling down on you and be happy for you when you find that happiness again. Chad isn't the only one, I too will be smiling and be happy for you and I know that you will make a wonderful wife again one day and I know that you will make an amazing mother too.
Your dreams can and will still come true, it will just be a different path than the one you first started on that beautiful September 18th day when you became part of our family. That new path will be one that will always have room for your memories of Chad and your life you had with him and I hope that I can see you in that happy place one day. Much love always, Momma Bear...
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