Ignorance

Ignorance is one thing, being completely stupid and not trying to understand is a whole other story. I've been on my soap box for a few days about this situation, but with the 4th of July coming up and having "bonus" kids deploying as I blog has just kept it so fresh in my mind that I feel I have to at least get my feelings out there one more time (at least).

Katie's brother told her a couple of weeks ago that she was overracting and being dramatic about Chad deploying to Afghanistan. Really? Okay, let's see the facts. There have been so many American troops killed over there in the last month (and I'm sure more than we even imagine) so maybe he should tell those families that they overracted or were dramatic when their soldiers deployed. Chad's sister platoon lost 13 young men and 14 were terribly wounded just about the time he decided to allow his ignorance be an "out loud" thing. I was never so proud of Katie for her wonderful response to him. She said "I will buy you a plane ticket to Afghanistan in October since you can't support Chad while he is here, maybe you can stand in front of him as he is being shot at over there". You go girl! That was an amazing response to a very ignorant comment. Don't get me wrong. I really thought the world of her brother when I first met him and even up to this time. He said some ugly things to and about Katie and then that statement just sealed the deal for me. I realize he is young and has so much to learn and apparently NEVER watches the news, reads a newspaper, or even listens to general population talk about current events, but really? I guess the word "war" has become so common talk over the last 9 years that people just forget it's real and dangerous. Well, let me be the one to remind you people out there that may have forgotten how real war is! IT IS REAL! IT IS DANGEROUS! IT IS SCARY! IT IS KILLING OUR FINE SOLDIERS! AND, if it weren't for our fine soldiers risking their lives people like Katie's brother wouldn't be able to live the life he is living today and sleep in a bed (that for now he doesn't even pay for, or drive a nice new car (which he did purchase himself), or go to college, or travel to see his friends (when he wouldn't accept a free trip to CA to see his sister and brother in law), or play his kind of music or go to the church of his choice and countless other freedoms he is privileged to have. I will NOT apologize for being passionate about our military and the work they do. I have several bonus kids that I have adopted since Chad was in boot camp and I wouldn't trade any of them for anything in this world. I feel like they are all my kids and I love them all and I pray for each and every one of them daily and especially when they are deployed. Maybe is Katie's brother would adopt a bonus friend/brother/sister who is deployed he will gain a better respect for what they do. Better yet, how about just take the "bonus" brother he has in Chad and get to know what he does every day and what deployment is all about and then just maybe, he will NEVER allow those ignorant thoughts to ever enter his head again! That's my prayer for you "Katie's brother".

Honestly, people just don't freaking think before they open their stupid ignorant mouths (or text) and to say something like that (especially to a sister) right before her husband (my son) deploys to war. Are you freaking kidding me! Ugh isn't even enough to describe the disgust I feel every time I think about someone ever saying that (especially a family memeber).

Love

Everyone knows that love comes in many different ways and we show it in many different ways. I think sisters have probably the most unique way of showing love and standing up for each other. I found myself in a position to do just that this week and honestly if I had it to do over again, I would do exactly that. I will never understand nor feel it's the right thing to do to use the death of a child (or anyone for that matter) to hurt another human being (especially when it is family). That did happen this week and I found myself in a position that is not the most comfortable for me, but honestly, once I had my say and set the record straight (regardless if they ever believe it or not), I felt like a million bucks. I slept like a baby and if I had it to do over again I would not change one thing. Life is too short and precious and stressful and sad enough without others hurting people for no good reason. Whatever happened to people just all trying to get along and love each other and accepting them for who they are and just getting past it? I wish those days were back. We only get one chance (usually) in this life to make a difference in other people's lives, why not make that difference a positive one.

Our gift

Our children are a gift from God. We are so fortunate to have another human being call us parent and to love us unconditionally. I know sometimes our kids may not take our advice or may go their own way, but we love them anyway. That's just what parents do. When our children get married we are blessed enough to gain a son or daughter. We as parents should embrace this new person into our lives and love them like our own. I do believe that Tebo and I have done a really good job of loving our children and our bonus children with all our hearts and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them. That includes when our children are being hurt by someone/anyone else we kick into momma and papa bear mode. My heart is breaking right now because some of our children are hurting and not being loved unconditionally. How sad is it that we can risk the last words we speak to our children or hear from our children not being filled with love. We are not guaranteed tomorrow and we should never take any day for granted especially with our children. They are ours to love and care for and teach and while we let them go to live their lives it doesn't mean we let them go forever and forget they were ever here. All our children (and I do mean ALL) will always have loving parents and a home wherever we are. We may not always be in agreement with all they do and eventually that will happen, but one thing will always remain the same. WE LOVE OUR CHILDREN ALWAYS AND FOREVER!

Drama...

I know every family has drama and probably more than normal when there are lots of sisters. The problem I have with drama is it usually takes the focus off the main reason you were all together to begin with. I hate that. I love all my sisters. Some of us are closer than others only because that's just usually what happens in families and I'm okay with that. Some of my sisters are closer to each other than to me and that's really okay. What's not okay with me is when you aren't able to joke around and be yourself with all sisters, because someone always makes it about something negative. I don't get that. Honestly, it takes more energy to be upset about crap all the time than it does to just let it roll off your back.
I tend to make fun of myself more than I do anyone else in my family. I am the shortest sister, I have no boobs, I really have no real figure to even speak of, I was a single mom far longer than probably a lot of people are, I could only have one child (which I am totally okay with), I've made a lot of stupid mistakes in life especially with matters of the heart, my hair is so thin and fine that it's like baby hair, I am hair retarded, I can't cook, and if it weren't for my wonderful husband I would truly still be wearing the same clothes from 1984 (no joke), but there is one thing I can do and have that I hope we all have and that is, I can lay my head down every night and know that I tried to be the best person I know how to be with no regrets. If I do screw up (and I do often) I will apologize. Heck, I usually apologize even if I don't know if I did anything wrong or not, but I try to make a concerted effort to never be intentionally cruel to anyone else, especially family. I do get my feelings hurt from time to time, but trust me, I make fun of myself enough that it won't bother me when others do. I know my short falls (pun intended) and I know how I look, but I also know my heart and those who truly love and know me also know my heart.
I love my entire family (as crazy and dysfunctional as it seems to others at times) and I wouldn't trade them or all our craziness for anything. What I would change is the drama and hurt that tends to always plague us when we all get together.
So to all my sisters and family. I love you all with all my heart and if I have said or done anything that made you feel like I didn't care or love you I am sorry. That was never my intentions at all. I just hope that one day we will be able to be friends (all of us) among being sisters for life. That would be such an amazing thing to have one day.

Momma Bear

Okay, so this is my blog and I can vent if I want to.... So I think I will! How is it that a parent thinks they have a right to treat their children with anything less than respect especially when they have gotten married and moved out and are supporting themselves. I know I take being a mom very seriously and I know that I have lots of bonus children that I love and would do anything in the world for. I also know that this isn't always common practice, but in my family when our children get married those new children are NOT merely in-laws or bonus children, instead they ARE our children.
When you mess with my kids (any of my kids) you freaking mess with me and if you mess with me you better be ready for a fight. I am so ticked off (in case you couldn't tell) that two of my children have been hurt and disrespected by "so called" parents. OMG! You do NOT speak to your children the way my children were spoken too no matter what!
Me and my precious husband will make sure that our children are taken care of and loved and know they are loved and this is a warning for anyone else who thinks they will ever treat my babies like these babies have been treated this week, you better watch who you mess with, because Momma Bear don't play games when her babies are treated badly.

We love all our children with all our hearts and you better not ever treat them like this again!

My amazing husband

So, last night I was watching Night Line News and they were featuring a chef in Chicago whose family were decedents of Italy. He showed a dish made with black pasta, lobster, and mushrooms. I called Tebo in to take a look and he said, "oh that's easy". I said then I expect it this weekend. Wouldn't you know, he made it. Now he made it "Tebo Style" and rather than black pasta he used linguine and spinach pasta, crab meat, mushrooms, and asparagus. OMG! It was amazing. He is just an amazing man. He always goes above and beyond to make me happy and to do for our kids. Just when I think he isn't paying attention I discover that he really was. I still don't know what I did to get so lucky, but I am so thankful and grateful that I did.

I plan to spend the rest of my life loving this man and taking care of him and if I'm lucky I will make him feel half as lucky as he makes me feel every minute of every day. I love you Babe!

When sisters are also friends

I know for years there have been sisters and friends and best friends, but how often do you hear that sisters are friends and even best friends. I happen to be a very fortunate to have sisters that are my friends and even best friend. I also have a best friend that feels like a sister. I truly do believe I am a very fortunate and would even say rich person for having the privilege to have these relationships.

We help each other when we are down and just having a crappy day and have no idea why. We help each other out when we do know why we feel like we do and sometimes we don't always like what the other one says to us, but down deep we know it's true. We call on each other when we need to bounce ideas off them and rely on them for our reality check. Sometimes when a sister/friend doesn't have the words to say we may use humor or sarcasm to get us through and that's always okay too. That's the wonderful thing about these kind of relationships. They are rare and so valuable that truly words aren't enough to truly explain them. We can get pissed off at each other at noon and by dinner time we are laughing and telling our most sensitive secrets again. It's funny, there are a lot of things about being a woman that I wish I could change with men and let them have them, but these relationships are not one of those things. We may call each other to see what we need to bring to a party or for dinner and we may be on the phone for hours talkiong about everything from what happened at work that day, what our husbands did or didn't do, what our kids did that day, to can you believe I broke a freaking nail today? We do this and when we hang up our husbands may roll their eyes and shake their heads, but we hang up feeling satisfied and usually (for me anyway) with a smile on our faces. I love that. We have phone/wine dates to have girl talk and we share our deepest thoughts, concerns, fears, sadness, happiness and never get tired of talking or listening with each other. This is why today, I want to salute my sisters and best friends and most importantly the two together. I love ya'll with all my heart Paige, Amanda, Dawn, Stacy, and Barrie Ann. This is what gets me through all my days and I hope it's the same for ya'll too.

Official Red Shoe Day!

OMG! So, my BFF Sis is one breath away from losing her ever loving mind and I think she is determined to take me and Amanda with her! LOL...

She is stressing out to the max and Amanda and I have taken on the role of talking her off the ledge, but I'm going to push her off next time if she doens't take a chill pill.

She is hilarious. She worries about the funniest things and I'm like, really? Oh my! I know how it is though to be so overwhelmed with emotions that you don't even know how to process it all. That is SOoooo where she is right now.

We are declaring every day (starting now) Red Shoe Day for her! She bought these amazing red shoes (I will try to post a picture) while she was at her "BFF Rose's" house over Memorial Day weekend and apparently nothing can go wrong when she wears them, so starting today, it should be a requirement for her to wear those shoes every day at least until June 14th~! That will get us through Jorden's graudation and her 18th birthday. Good night nurse!

We will all look back on this at our 1st annual (whenever this may happen) sister's trip and laugh our butts off at her and how freaked out she got and she will look at us and probably give us a hand gesture, but we will laugh and she will wonder why in the world she got so worked up.

I be knowing Paige, I was a hot mess when my baby boy graduated, left for boot camp, deployed to Iraq, and then got married so that's why I now have a license to tell you that you will survive this and wonder why in the world you got so worked up. If we don't laugh about this we will all go insane and there is only room for one of us to be insane at a time and this time it is you! It will probably be Amanda next and then it will be Stacy's turn so we all have our turns to be insane, but Amanda and I are declaring the red shoe day to start NOW!

Love you sis! We will help you through this. We promise and if we don't we will push you off the ledge! LOMA!

Empty Nesters...Again

Well, it won't be long now and Tebo and I will be empty nesters once again. While there are certainly mixed feelings about it there is a part of me that is looking forward to having the house to just ourselves. We will be able to go into work as early as we want and stay as late as we want as well as go out for happy hour or after work functions if we want. I might even be able to catch a softball game or two now since I won't have to rush home to take care of a teenager, but the house will be quieter again and we won't have near the activities we had with running Trevor here and there for school activities or parties or just to hang out with friends.

We had two years (almost) of it just being the two of us when Chad left and it took me quite some time to get accustom to our "new normal" as first time empty nesters, but this time I don't anticipate having quite the length of time to adjust as before since we've already been down this road before.

It is sad though when I think about Trevor and the things he has at his finger tips here and what he will be giving up as he returns to a small town like Vernon. He won't have Fast Lanes, or the movie theater selections he has here and certainly not the choices of restaurants like there are in NW Arkansas. There are advantages I know of being in a small town, like knowing everyone really well and being in a familiar place. Going to school with the same kids you've always gone to school with is comforting as well I'm sure. Of course, it does limit your resources to girlfriends if the majority of your classmates are related to you.... Oh My!

Regardless where Trevor chooses to live all we want as parents is for him to be happy, healthy, and grow. I believe if he puts his mind to it he can do that no matter where he lives. We would like to have him here with us, but understanding that it is hard to not be with his mom, we will support him moving back to Vernon also. It will be difficult for a while to watch Tebo miss him and not have his buddy right here all the time, but we've done it before and we will do it again and adjust our lives accordingly.

This will certainly make us enjoy having all our kids at home any chance we all get even more now that we are going to be the only two in the house again.

Hmmmmm.... what to do, what to do.... I bet we can think of something to keep us busy! LOL

Trying to be flexible...

So, anyone who knows me knows that I am not the most flexible person. I like to have a schedule and a plan and I really do not like to deviate from that schedule or plan if I don't have to. The one thing I really struggle with and am having a really hard time with is people who will not make a decision and even more those who wait until the very last minute to make a decision.

Whatever happened to being prepared and being able to just enjoy your plan? Ugh! I don't know if I will ever be okay with just putting crap off until the last minute and when did that become an issue? I totally understand the art of being spontaneous, but when it comes to schools, work, children, etc. I think there is something terribly wrong with not having a plan or doing things on time.

Okay, I guess I'm finished with my venting for today, but really? UGH!