WOW! Really only thing I can think about this right now

I actually had a completely different blog I was working on, but when I came across this article I completely changed my direction.  I will go back to my original post later, but to me this hit me so hard that it really needs to go viral in my opinion.

I'm sure most of you have already seen this, but honestly I feel it needs to be talked about as much as possible so that our men and women in the military understand and know that this is NOT the opinion of our great Nation as a whole.

A Manhattan woman posted a status comment on Face Book regarding her personal opinion of our men and women in uniform.  I personally feel it is the most disgusting and disrespectful thing an American can say.  I also understand that we live in a country where we have freedom of speech and I know everyone is entitled to their own opinion.  I'm shocked that someone would have the audacity to post something like this woman did on a social network at all, but while we are still fighting a war?  Really lady?  If you haven't seen this article yet you can see for yourself at http://www.wibw.com/home/headlines/Manhattan-Woman-Loses-Job-Over-Facebook-Post-225354712.html and come to your own conclusion.

Personally, I would like to thank the company who fired her, Carmike Cinemas in Manhattan, Kansas, for standing behind our troops.  So, THANK YOU!

We are a Gold Star Family.  My only biological child was KIA in Afghanistan while in combat.  Yes, he chose to enlist and he even chose to go to Afghanistan when he didn't have to since he was an only child, but he did it for two reasons... One, he didn't want to stay behind and his brothers deploy when he was their radio operator and two, because had he not gone he would not have been able to live with himself if something had happened to one of his brothers.  My son was the only one that died on that deployment from his unit, but there were several wounded and their lives are never going to be the same, but they are still loyal to each other and the Marine Corps.  They are there fighting for America and for our freedoms and this is the way this woman chooses to use her freedoms?  Amazing.  

I actually feel sorry for her, because I have to believe that the majority of Americans believe like we do and they love and support our military.  I could easily be bitter and upset with the military, but I'm not.  I love the Marine Corps and all branches of the military and I have the utmost respect for each and every one of them.  

The things this woman said on her Face Book page makes me physically sick and while I wish no harm to her I do hope she has difficulty sleeping at night.  

This is for all our military men and women past, present, and future...  THANK YOU for your service and the sacrifices you make daily and whether you are still active or have fulfilled your contract, you deserve so much more than what you actually get and I know that daily you continue to sacrifice.  There are so many of you that are hurting daily from losing a brother in arms or from what you experienced over there and struggling with your own demons and you certainly do NOT deserve what this woman said.  

To the woman in Manhattan, Kansas, this is one of the only ways we can see our son and thank God there are those that continue to honor his chosen sacrifice he made for even people like yourself.  May God have mercy on your soul.

Fallen HERO CPL Chad S Wade... Always a HERO!

Sentimental as usual...

As usual when there are significant dates I get all sentimental and usually pretty weepy.  Well, yesterday was no exception.  It was what would have been Chad and Katie's 4th wedding anniversary and I couldn't help but be transformed back to 9/18/09 almost instantly. 

Poor Trevor has to share his birthday with this date forever, but the two are so separate.  I'm excited and proud of him for turning 18 years old (WOW, his dad is getting old) and what a fine young man he has turned into.  He is smart and artistic and seems to just love life.  I love that about him. 

However, on 9/18/09 as we tried to make Trevor feel special on his birthday it was over-shadowed by the wedding day.  I will say that most teenagers would have probably had a huge attitude about this, but we were fortunate enough that Trevor didn't feel that way at all.  He was totally a good sport about it and I know Chad and Katie were grateful to him for that and I know his dad and I were.

On that beautiful day of 9/18/09 the weather could not have been more perfect and we had family and friends there to help us get set up and prepared.  I was a total hot mess, but it wasn't because I wasn't happy that Chad was marrying Katie, I was a hot mess, because my baby boy was getting married, period.  It was very emotional for obvious reasons, but you add to the fact that he was getting married to the fact that he had just arrived home from Iraq (his first deployment) and that is a whole lot of emotion going on in one place.  I won't lie, in the middle of getting my hair fixed at the hair dresser I had a total melt down.  Thank God I had my best friend and sister with me to get me under control and the poor hair dresser (who at the time was also a neighbor) just let me melt down.

We get back to the house and Chad had gone to Stacy and Leckey's house to get ready with the guys and Katie was at our house getting ready (P.S. that was so much fun.  I would have loved to watch my son get ready too, but not having had much experience with getting to dress up like that with a daughter made it fun). 

Once we got all dressed and ready to go we start heading to the wedding location (which was at Bogle Gardens outside and gorgeous) and it started becoming real.  Up to that point I had been so busy with details of the wedding and making sure everything was taken care of that I really didn't give a lot of thought of how hard it would be to watch my son get married.  I had never had to share him with another woman before and he had never really dated anyone so I was his number one lady all his life.  I was scared to death that I would be a terrible mother in law (I pray I wasn't, but I really don't think I was).  I didn't think anyone would ever be good enough for my son and that I would be like the movie "Monster-In-Law".  I really don't think I was, but Katie may have a different view on it if you asked her, but I pray not. 

Anyway, we get there and as Chad is escorting me down the aisle to my seat I could not have been more proud and excited for him.  I could see love in his eyes like I had never seen before and at that moment I knew I would love Katie and always love her.  She gave him that look of love and happiness and who couldn't love a girl for doing that for her son. 

They got married and we all returned to our house for the reception (I have to give kudos to my amazing husband who prepared the food and set the entire backyard up for a beautiful reception).  Chad and Katie had their first dance and Katie and her father had their dance and then it was mine and Chad's turn.  I had no idea what song he chose for our mother/son dance, but turns out he chose Lee Ann Womack's song "I hope you dance".  It was the perfect song.  I had always said I wanted it played at my funeral so he would know to live life like that and he chose it for our song.  I couldn't have asked for anything better (of course it would have been nice for someone to remind me I had no shoes on as I am having this dance, but I guess it wouldn't be me if I had them on).

One year and seventy four days after that beautiful day, Chad would lose his life in Afghanistan while deployed.  Our lives would never again be the same.  I knew something wasn't right that day.  I had talked to Katie every day until that day and for some reason I couldn't get her.  When I finally did at the end of the day I just knew something was wrong, but I didn't know what.  Then the doorbell rang and our lives as we knew it was over just like that.

I miss him more than words could ever express and what I would give to be tranformed back to 9/18/09 again even for just one day.  I would squeeze him even tighter and hang on even longer.  We just never know what life has in store for us.  We don't know what tomorrow may bring.  My heart will never recover from that day on December 1, 2010, but I am fortunate enough to have had the honor to see my son find love and get married.  There are many parents out there that don't get that chance with a child and I got that.  The Lord knew what he was doing first by putting Tebo in my life when he did and he certainly knew what he was doing when he put Katie in Chad's (and my) life when he did.  With Chad being my only biological child I cannot imagine not ever having the chance to know what it felt like to watch my own flesh and blood walk down the aisle and find true love.  I'm so glad I had that chance with him. 

Some people might find it odd that in my heart Katie is still my daughter, but to me she is.  I still and always will love her.  I don't get to see her (as I am sure this is normal) and she has found love again and I am so thankful for that I can't even put into words how happy it makes my heart for her.  She has done amazing things to make her life happy and as whole again as she can and I believe with all my heart that Chad has a helping hand in that.  He would never want her to be alone and sad.  He would want her to find love and be happy and live a full life and one day raise a family.  That is also my prayer for her.

I can't help but miss her a little more on days like yesterday and when I do I am compelled to reach out to her in some way or another and she is gracious enough to just indulge this crazy mother in law she had.  I pray when she does get married again that she is blessed with the best mother in law a girl could ask for.  She deserves it and whoever becomes her mother in law will be gaining a great daughter.

I will continue to live my life the best I can and do good as much as I can and I will probably always reach out to Katie on special dates until she blocks my number or changes hers and doesn't give it to me.  :)  I'm sure that won't happen and I know if I am ever overboard with reaching out she will let me know (at least I hope she will).  I will continue to love her and be happy for her in all the good things that are coming her way and I will always love my husband for helping me through this tragedy.  He puts up with a lot from me and he never complains. 

I am blessed to have him along with an amazing family and friends that continue to encourage me and lift me up when I need it the most and even better, they know when I just need alone time and they allow me to have that without feeling guilty. 

I chose to blog today rather than yesterday for a very personal reason.  So in light of yesterday, happy what would have been your 4th year wedding anniversary Chad & Katie and may God bless you, Katie, with nothing, but love and happiness and all of your hearts desires and thank you for giving me that memory on 9/18/09 and showing my son love and happiness while he was here on this earth.  After all, as parents, that's all we want for our children. 

Sept. 9, 2009

They did it!

My boy

Hilarious!  I love that they took this

I just love him

How handsome

Here we go Tebo!

Our Dance

What an amazing moment! (see, no shoes, ugh)



Not your ordinary blog

This will go in a completely different direction and actually I hope to address a completely different crown than normal (not that, that particular crowd reads my blog or any blog for that matter), but maybe, just maybe, a parent will read this blog and read it to their child/teen.

I had the utmost honor of seeing my son (my only biological child) honored on the Nancy Grace show last night https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10200552832008295&set=vb.1383426044&type=2&theater and it made me so proud and sad at the same time.  I know that sounds crazy, but it's the only way to describe the feeling I had.

I was so fortunate.  There was rarely a day that I didn't hear from Chad either via phone call, text, or a quick email.  If there was a day that went by it was typically because he was working with the USMC or deployed.  That was pretty much the ONLY time I would not hear something from him daily.  I know there are parents out there that don't get that.  Maybe it was because he was an only child and felt the need to take care of his momma or because we were just used to talking in some fashion every day. It might be a quick phone call from Iraq or Afghanistan (when he could make a call) or when he was state side it might be a quick phone call on his way home from work or on a break.  I was the lucky mom that got that much communication from her son.  I feel blessed by that every day.

So here is the twist to this blog.  I find it actually odd/funny that our kids are actually more connected today then ever before.  They have text, Face Book, Twitter, Instagram, etc. that they can reach out to parents or anyone, yet I hear from more and more parents out there that go days without hearing from their kids and these are not kids that are deployed or in the field training with the military.

We got so excited tonight when Tebo's son called him and chatted for a good 15 to 20 minutes.  I know for teenage time that was forever.  For us, it was like heaven.  I say "for us", because I had the privilege of seeing Tebo's face when he saw his name pop up on his phone and watch his face as they chatted.  Ok, there weren't just a ton of words exchanged, but here is the kicker, there don't have to be a ton of words.

My best phone call (which turned out to be my last one) from Chad was when he called me from Afghanistan and because I can't stand to have a surprise for him and not tell him, I told him about his birthday present that I intended to give him when we went to CA for his homecoming.  It was an autographed picture of Peyton Manning.  His last words to me (in a very excited tone) was "that's crazy, that's just crazy"  "how did you do that" and then suddenly our call was dropped.  Now, as mom, my first thought was, I didn't get to tell him I loved him.  I bawled like a baby, because I didn't get to tell him I loved him before the call dropped.  I had even told Tebo and my daddy that the next time he calls me I am telling him I love him first just in case the call gets dropped before I get the chance.   Well, by now you know that not only did I not get another phone call from him, but the next time I knew anything about my baby boy was when Marines in full dress blue uniforms rang our doorbell to tell us he would not be coming home.  I was NOT going to get to tell him I loved him again (other than the MOTO mail I sent him literally on the day he lost his life).  My heart was broken.

Here is my message...  If you are a child/teen/adult that still have the privilege of having your parents on this earth make the effort to call them.  Call them when you have nothing to say at all, but I love you or just call to let them know what is going on with your life no matter how big or small.  We care.  It might not seem to you like we would, but it turns out we care about everything from how you slept the night before to how school was and how your job is going and how your relationships are.

We care more than you know and if your parents aren't calling or texting you enough, TELL THEM!  We want to know if you want to hear from us more.  There is a good chance parents aren't reaching out on a regular basis because they don't want to invade your privacy or push themselves into your life too much.

Well, Chad never had the chance to say that to me, because I pushed and I made myself ever so present in his day to day life.  Were there things he did that I didn't know about?  Of course there were, but it wasn't because I wasn't calling, returning text messages, or stalking him on Face Book.  I was doing all of that.  However, I was fortunate enough that I did hear from him if there was any physical way for him to reach out in any way.  If you are doing that with your parents...  GOOD FOR YOU!  I know there are more kids out there that do like Chad did with me and I'm so proud you do that and I know your parents are proud.

I know for me my parents probably wish I would give them a break.  Well, guess what?   Not going to happen in this life time.  :)  I check with my parents every week and sometimes daily.  If they are sick I wear their phones out.  Bug them, drive them crazy, and above all else, don't just call because you need something.  They want to hear from you even if it is silly things like, I had a good night's sleep and I have a crazy busy day today and how are you doing.  That's really all they need.  You don't have to talk long and if you are lucky enough to have techie savy parents (like our kids do) you can just text us and we will respond.  If we text you, you should respond.  As most parents, we are probably paying you cell phone bill.  :)  I would respond if I were you and you aren't.

I'm blessed to have 4 bonus kids thanks to my amazing husband and they are good kids.  Could we hear from some of them more and could we make the effort to reach out to them more, yes, but they are good kids and we consider ourselves very lucky.

I know most kids say, I'm just so busy.  Really, because we (as parents) know that you have your phone in your reach 24/7 and usually even when you are in bed.  You probably don't miss much your friends have to tell you or that FB post or that Instagram, but somehow you didn't see your parent's text?  Really?

I have a challenge for all kids (all ages) if your parents are still on this earth.  I dare you to reach out to them on a regular basis even if it is just to say hey and I was thinking of you and wanted to make sure you were ok.  Are you up for the challenge?

Remember, we are never guaranteed tomorrow.  Don't take today or any day for granted.  Love those that are still with you and make sure they know it.

To my bonus kids, Candi, Nathan, Tia, Trevor, and my bonus kids from Chad's friends from school and the USMC, and my nieces and nephews, and cousins, and sisters, and brothers, and all my parents, and aunts and uncles.  I love you.  I will do a better job of reaching out.

"Boots" Really?

I'm really struggling, not only as a mom of a Marine or the "bonus" mom of probably 150 other Marines, but also as an American with the President referring to "No Boots on the Ground" in Syria.  Really Mr. President, these boots are filled with the feet of sons, daughters, husbands, wives, fathers, and mothers.  They are sacrificing not only their lives and families, but their future.  I know he probably doesn't really know what else to call it to still get his point across, because he is too busy trying to say "the right things" to win people's approval.  Here is a suggestion, try using, our preference would to have no troops on the ground or something like that.  I don't believe you anyway.  My guess is that we will stick our nose into Syria regardless what the majority of Americans think or want and before it is all over it will cost far more than 2 Billion dollars a day.  It will cost a family to lose a child, a child to lose a parent, and grandparents and aunts and uncles, cousins, and friends to lose someone they love.  You can't put a dollar amount on that. 
When do we stop fighting every war that comes up?  When do we get to truly bring our troops home?  I'm saddened, because I truly believe we will be at war somewhere from now on.  I guess the "new norm" for Americans. 
I chose to rant about this on my own personal blog as I would never want to offend anyone, but I'm struggling with us sending any of our military to Syria.  We still have fighting going on and lives being lost in Afghanistan and now we are considering sending our men and women to Syria to help fight a Civil War.  Their own people are leaving the country.  That should tell them something there!  Don't send our men and women over there so they take the chance of not coming home.  Don't continue to put your Americans in the position of having to bury a child, parent, or spouse.  Really?  When is enough really going to be enough?

These "Boots" were filled with my baby boy's feet!

Here are the faces of some of those "Boots" you refer to so loosely

Still proud Marines after losing one of their own!  Yep, again, they are filling "Boots"

No parent, spouse, child or loved one should have to experience this kind of pain and then hear you refer to their loved one as "Boots"... 

MR. PRESIDENT, PLEASE SPEAK WITH YOUR SPEECH WRITER AND ASK HIM/HER TO BE MORE CAREFUL IN THE WORDS THEY CHOOSE FOR YOU TO READ!  THOSE WORDS MATTER!