I'm so sorry son...

As parents we want to protect our children always.  It doesn't matter how old they get or what they do in life or even if they are married.  You still have the instinct that you want/need to protect them.  I can't tell you how many times I wrote or told Chad that I would take his place in Afghanistan so he could come back home.  I told him every time I spoke to him or wrote him a letter.  I would have too.  That's just what parents want to do for their children.
I'm sorry son that I wasn't able to protect you from that IED blast.  I would have taken that hit for you in a split second.  I would much rather you keep being the amazing husband you were to Katie, continue being a great son to Tebo (and in turn to me), continue being that faithful friend to all your buddies (and you so were), and continue being the fabulous grandson, nephew, cousin, and uncle.  You would have made an amazing father one day. 
This song truly embodies what I feel for you and always will.  I can't listen to it without crying, but it truly speaks to how I always felt for you and would have done for you if I could have.  I will hate the fact that I was not able to protect you for the rest of my life on this earth, but I will see you again some day and to be honest, it couldn't come fast enough for me, but unfortunately, I have to wait on God's timing for that.  I will try to wait as patiently as I can, but we both know that I'm not the most patient person. 
I love and miss you son.  My heart is and never will be whole again.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fqPcnuVPR8

Another fine mess...

Well, I've gotten myself into yet another fine mess.... :D  As most everyone who knows me knows I've had issues with my stomach for many years (dates back to before 1997).  Well, recently it was discovered that I had scar tissue from an ulcer surgery that actually wrapped around my duodenum and closed it off making it impossible for me to eat solid foods and it digest and move through the duodenum like it should.  Of course this not only made eating difficult, but nearly impossible.  I've been limiting my meals to essentially one meal with solid foods and protein shakes for all others.  Needless to say, this is getting old and not accomplishing what I need to in order to gain and maintain weight.  My stomach doctor sent me to a surgeon yesterday and they will do surgery.  We don't know exactly which procedure he will do yet, because he won't know until he opens me up and sees what he is dealing with.  Basically I'm looking at potentially two possible options.  One would be a bypass where he would take my stomach and bypass the duodenum and connect it to the small intestine.  The second procedure would be something called a plasty and for my simple mind it would appear that it will be basically reshaping the duodenum and allowing food to continue to flow through the duodenum just in a bit of a different way than before.  Either way the outcome is basically the same and the recovery will be the same.  I will spend 4 to 6 days in the hospital and much of that time is for healing and making sure I am tolerating the liquid diet ok.  I will remain on a liquid diet for up to 3 weeks and then gradually move to soft foods (ice cream, yeah).  It will take some time for me to actually get back to eating like I do today, but when I do I should be able to eat without feeling sick or hurting (yeah!).  That part I'm pretty stoked about.  I will be off work at least 4 weeks and probably 6 weeks at the longest (I'm a high achiever so I expect the lesser time off).  It could be a pretty long time before I am able to eat like "normal" people, but the fact that I will be able to is huge since I can't really remember the last time I did eat "normal".  This is basically my only option.  If I were to opt not to have the surgery at all my doctor said I would basically starve to death before I could get better without surgery.  While I'm not much of a "Foodie", the starving to death part didn't seem like a fun route to take so surgery it will be.
I will be having surgery on August 22nd which seems super quick, but boy do we have a lot going on between now and then to get ready for.  First, I will be making my list this weekend of all the things I need to accomplish before surgery, then I will start on said list.  We are making a quick trip to Florida for a funeral for a family member and then Tebo has his first colonoscopy on the 16th (bless his heart).  I have pre-op on the 14th and need to squeeze in yet another little skin cancer procedure during that same week.  I need to get my house in order and make sure I have work covered, Tebo has a Tyson Softball Tournament to play in the weekend of the 17th, and I still have 9 days of vacation I need to use up before October.  Then we have daddy, Don, Barbara, and Trevor's birthdays all in September that I need to make sure I have gifts and cards bought for and Stacy starts her radiation treatments on Monday, August 6th.  Looks like August and September will be pretty crazy months for our family.  Nothing like everything piling up all at once to make things feel completely unorganized, but I know I will feel better once I have my list created and a timeline of when to get it all done.  Ahhhh... nothing better than a completed To Do list!  Music to my ears.
All in all, things could certainly be much worse and I'm fortunate that I was finally put in contact with a good GI doctor who also put me in contact with what appears to be a good surgeon.  I'm not thrilled about having to have this done or the down time I will have, but I am looking forward to not being sick or uncomfortable 24/7.  Short term there will be little change, but long term, awesomeness! 
I will make sure I keep things updated so you know how things are progressing, but please keep Tebo in your thoughts and prayers.  He is definitely a Job when it comes to his patience and tolerance and I couldn't ask for a better partner and soul mate to walk this crazy journey I call life with me.  I'm one lucky girl for sure.