On my mind lately....

Well, the closer deployment for Chad gets the crazier I start feeling. It's weird, I feel anxious, nervous, sad, proud, dread, and so many other strange feelings all at one time. I know he will be safe. He has been training for over a year for this deployment and he is prepared. I only hope Katie and I are as prepared as he is. I know we have to be strong for him and for each other, but sometimes it makes me wonder if I really have what it takes to be that strong. I didn't think I did when he deployed to Iraq, but I surprised myself and found that I was stronger than I thought I was. This time I hope I continue to surprise myself, but just in case I find myself slipping and getting weak I know I have my "therapy" to fall back on. I'm sure I will have to repaint my baseboards before it's all said and done, but at least the house will be nice and clean. Of course, if all this cleaning actually prevented me from getting a mouth full of ulcers that would be fabulous. Oh well, it's not the first time nor will it be the last time that I have a mouth full and I've managed to get through that part just fine. I guess time will tell and I have no doubt that there will be lots of blog-venting going on so be patient with me as I vent all these crazy feelings on my blog. My baseboards and hubby will thank you I'm sure.

Chad/Katie Update - Deployment

Well, it's been a while since I've updated my family and friends on Chad so I thought I better get this out there. He and Katie will be coming home Sept. 17th for 12 days for pre-deployment leave. He will deploy to Afghanistan mid to end of Oct. Please keep them both (and momma) in your prayers. We are so thankful this will be his last deployment before his contract is up, but it doesn't make it less scary and sad to have to say good bye again, but we are so proud of him and all he has accomplished. He should pick up Corporal any time now so we are anxious for that to happen. He has worked so hard for it and deserves it so much. We can't wait for them to get home. I've taken off 7 days of vacation to spend as much time with them as I can before they go back to CA. Tebo is taking off the first week and he and Chad have a day planned to do "guy" stuff and that day Katie and I will do "girl" stuff. We can't wait. Of course there will be lots of pictures being taken the entire time they are home so they might as well get their camera smiles ready. :) Katie is planning to remain in CA while he is deployed so keep her in your thoughts and prayers as well that she stays close to her lady friends that she has met as they are a true support for her. I plan to do the best I can to get to CA when I can to keep her company too. Chad has been doing so much training since January and as hard as it's been for him it's been just as hard for Katie as she has had to be home alone so much and when he is home the poor thing is so dang tired that she probably still feels like she is home alone, but he has done a great job of trying to make time to do stuff together and just be together. They have handled all this like troopers. He spent 45 days at Bridgeport, CA for cold weather training where he got the beginnings of frost bite (thankfully they caught it in time so no damage was done) and hypothermia. That hypothermia was awful for him and imagine how scary it was for Katie not to be able to get to him, but like a Marine would do he fought back and with less than 30 days to recover he was off to the Mojave Viper dessert for more training where the temperatures were averaging 120 degrees each day in full gear. They did that for a little over 30 days before finally getting home. They've been working long hours to cram in any last minute training before they go on deployment leave. He has struggled some keeping his weight up (don't we all wish we had that problem?), but Katie is doing an amazing job of fixing him amazing dinners and trying to fatten him up as much as she can. They will celebrate their 1 year wedding anniversary (can you believe it's already been a year) on the 18th of Sept. They are so excited to celebrate that where they had their honeymoon. Their little addition (Remi) is getting big and I believe he must be in his terrible twos, because the other day Katie was going to pick up Chad and that little thing stepped on the window button and rolled the back window of the truck down and jumped out of the truck. Apparently he (like Chad) watched Pippy Longstocking and thought he could fly! Fortunately he must have tucked and rolled because he only suffered road rash and terrified Katie, but he wasn't seriously hurt. She believes that he must have immediately realized he was in trouble, because he laid flat on the street with his ears straight back until she got to him. Bless her heart, she was scared to death and when she got Chad they took him to the vet (what, did you think it wasn't a dog?) and he was ok. Thank goodness. I have a feeling he won't do that again. Sheeewww... Anyway, they are doing great and are very happy and I couldn't be more happy that they will be home for a couple of weeks and I just plan to soak up all the time I have with them. His contract will be over around Sept./Oct. 2011 and then they can decide where they will settle down and start their "normal" life. Military life has to be one of the most difficult, but they have handled it with such grace and courage. I don't know if I could do that well myself, but they've made it look easy. Well, that's pretty much a summarization of our kiddos and thank you in advance for all your thoughts and prayers. I think we will all need it over the next 7 to 9 months. We love ya'll and thank you for loving us and especially Chad & Katie with us.

Because You Loved Me...

Well, it's been 14 years since our precious Jessica got sick. Truthfully some days, it feels like yesterday. There has been a lot of healing since then and still more that needs to happen, but what is so amazing is the resiliency the human heart seems to have (even though sometimes it doesn't feel like it). Jessica was only 8 years old when she went to be with the Lord after a short 5 week battle with brain cancer. We don't truly know what caused it, but for me, I will go to my grave believing it was enviromental. She was an amazing child and throughout her entire illness and treatments she always smiled and was the first to tell someone that "it's okay". She, in many ways, was stronger and more positive than the rest of us. During that time we learned a lot about not only ourselves, but each other. We saw who was truly there for all of us when the chips were down. My sister (Jessica's mom) was an amazing example of a strong woman who would hold it together at all costs for Jessica. She will always be my hero for that because I don't really know if I have what it takes to do all she did during that time. Our sister, Stacy, left Memphis and moved in with Paige to care for Jessica so she could keep her job and still knew Jess was being taken care of. There aren't a lot of syblings/people who would do that. I know for Paige and certainly myself we will forever be grateful for that. My job that I had just started (literally the day she was diagnosed was my first day there) was amazing. The people at Gastonia Home Health Care could not have been more understanding and caring. They allowed me as much time as needed for me to be with my family to help as much as I could. Even my little Chadman who was (in his words) Jessica's boyfriend, but honestly, they were as close as true brother and sisters would be. He was so strong. He misses her to this day and I know this because he never fails to mention her to me during this time and he even has a tattoo remembering her. He even took what he learned from that experience and helped a friend of his who was also his age (at this time he was 9 years old) get through the loss of his little baby sister. I don't know many 9 year olds who can do that, but he did. Our parents (all of them) were amazing. They knew what to say and what not to say and when we needed something and when we didn't. We had family members that came from all over to be at the funeral and to support Paige in this horrific time. Probably one of the most impressive of all these folks was Jessica's baby sister, Jorden (who at the time was only 4 years old). She was so brave and it was actually very sweet to see her have amazing intuition to know when her mommy needed an extra hug. She wasn't really even old enough to truly grasp what was going on, but she just did everything she was asked to do and she always had perfect timing when mommy needed a hug or for her to be quiet. It will always amaze me with everything everyone did. We have a large family with 2 brothers and there are 5 of us girls and we were all there to be with Paige during this time. A family this large always seems to have someone missing at times like this, but not our family. They were either there in person, on the phone, sent flowers, cards, etc. But regarless how they were there, they were just there. It is a sad time of year, but it does warm my heart to know how loved Jessica, Paige, and Jorden were so loved during this time. We won't understand why this had to happen like it did until we are standing in front of our heavenly father one day and until then we can only know that it was in his plan. As for my sister, Paige, she continues to live her life to the fullest and while this time of year is especially hard for her she always manages to make sure Jorden and her husband know they are loved as well as the rest of her family. We all miss Jessica in our own ways, but I can't imagine how Paige misses her. Jessica will never be forgotten and will forever be loved and it a wonderful legacy to leave behind.