Blue... Sometimes not my favorite color

I don't know what happened yesterday, but suddenly I found myself feeling very blue. I really had no reason other than missing my baby boy. I don't know what sparked these feelings, but I did allow myself a good little cry while Tebo was out shopping yesterday. It just feels like it wasn't enough. That sad feeling has carried over to today and as much as I would love to just stay home (alone) and be with my feelings, that just isn't an option when you have a job and very little to no vacation time left. I know a lot of people have told me I should see a grief counselor, but honestly I'm just not ready for that yet. I don't know if I could truly open up to a total stranger or not, but most everyone says I could. I guess we will see. Right now I would like to just be alone with my thoughts and memories and nothing more. I know I can't (and I won't) stay in this place long, but right now I just feel the overwhelming need to just be there. It was good to be busy Saturday helping Stacy and Leckey move and being with Peanut and Scooter. As tired as I feel now, it was good to stay that busy. I like being busy like that for a time, but now I find that I just want to be still with my thoughts. Trust me, it is as confusing for me as I am sure it sounds to you. I guess (as a wise man says often), "it is what it is". I'm sure this too shall pass.