Today marks the eight hundred and fourth day on this earth without Chad. I won't lie, it still feels like yesterday when that dreaded door bell rang. I hate this just as much as I did on December 1, 2010. It's not easier and the pain has not eased one bit. In fact, there are days that seem harder than December 1, 2010. When we make plans or something good (or bad) happens and I can't call and tell him about it or hear his voice when I just need a Chad fix I relive that painful day all over again.
Moving to a new house is not going to lessen those feelings either and it will certainly not "make me" forget. If anything it makes it harder to let go of some of those little things that gently remind me he walked those floors in our current home and not having that in the new one is something I am actually dreading.
Tebo has been amazing about making sure we have a Chad room and those special things I still have of Chad's go in their proper place. I'm very fortunate to have that from him. That will certainly help to a degree.
I feel sad and anxious at the same time at the thought of leaving our current home for the final time on March 28th and walking through the doors of the new house. I know we will eventually get settled in and find our "new normal" again, but it will not be without some degree of pain as well.
I guess this is just part of the "journey" we will have to continue traveling.
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