As most people do, I tend to reflect even more (if that's possible) during Christmas and the New Year on my life and the person I am (which is not always the person I want to be, sadly) and most importantly on my memories with those that are no longer on this earth with us. I won't lie, since losing Chad, I find myself spending more of my reflecting time on my memories with him and missing him more and more each day.
I've been reminded (sadly) this week that while missing Chad and reflecting on those memories will always be important and happen, I must remember to let those that I love who are still here that I do love them and how much they mean to me.
We had a Tyson team member tragically killed in a car accident while she was riding back with her husband after leaving her husband's mother's funeral. My heart breaks for this man I do not know and as a company we have been saddened and mourning the loss of a team member and just trying to understand how we might be able to help her husband who will be devistated once he is aware of what has happened. He still faces many surgeries and miracles to survive himself, but it has to be one of the saddest things I've heard (so I thought). Then today as most of Americans react I'm sure the same way I have, we have yet another senseless and tragic killing at (of all places) an elementary school in Newtown, Connecticut. Those families that are forever changed still have no idea just how changed their lives will be.
Tebo and I received an email shortly after this story broke from Tia telling us that she appreciates all we do and that she feels she doesn't let us know enough how much she appreciates what we do and that she loves us. It made me stop and think for a moment, have we been good about reminding the kids that we love and appreciate them?
I'm ashamed to say that I don't think I've done a very good job of that, especially since December 1, 2010. I have been so wrapped up in my own grief and saddness that I don't think I've shown my bonus kids how much they mean to me and how grateful I am to have them with us. I don't think I've done a very good job of telling my family and friends how important they are to me and how much I appreciate them.
I don't want "the season" to be the reason I remember to show those that I love that I love them and how much they mean to me. I want to leave this world one day and those in my life know just how much they mean to me. I need to get a move on making sure this happens, because like Tia reminded us today, we never know when it could be our last day.
I'm usually not one that makes New Year's resolutions. I simply say each year that I am going to try and be a better person than I was last year. I think for the most part I do a decent job at this, but I do fail at times and sometimes more often than not, but I do try. This year I will say the same thing, but I will try to do a better job of showing the ones in my life that I love and appreciate them and try to spend less time feeling sorry for myeslf for losing my son. I'm a work in progress for sure and I truly don't see that ever changing, but I do need to do a better job of living rather than wishing I were with my son again.
Together with Tebo we have 4 amazing kids still here and needing the parents they have to be there for them and stay strong for them and I'm certain now that they do include me in that as well. Sometimes it is easy to lose sight of those things. It's especially easy to lose sight of those things when we are consumed with "me" and "I" all the time. I know I will make a promise not only to myself, but also to my husband, the kids, my family, and friends that I will do a better job of letting them know how much they mean to me and how much I love them all year and not just this time of the year.
Hug your children, spouse, family, and friends more and know that you are not promised another day. We have today to make sure they know just in case tomorrow doesn't come.
To my family and friends, I do love you and I appreciate more than my simple words could ever express the love and support and encouragement you have all given me over the last two years and how you continue to lift me up. I promise to do a better job of showing you that starting now. Thank you Tia for the reminder that I so desparately needed.
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