I could lie, but it wouldn't change anything...

I've struggled the last week or so more than usual.  I could blame it on the fact that I was without my hormone pills for almost a month, but I don't know if that could be all to blame.  We've had a lot going on in our family over the last year and a half.  Tomorrow evening after work I will head to OK to spend the night and join part of my family in the drive to Tulsa to be there for Stacy's surgery.  I could lie and tell you that it's no big deal and I will just do what I do and the rest of us will do what we do, but in all honesty, I'm scared for her and sad and I would give anything to take her place, but for whatever reason, the Lord has chosen Stacy to fight this battle and Leckey to be by her side through it all.  My job is to be her sister and be there when she needs me.  That will take sacrifice from my husband, Tia, Candi, my job, and everyone else that might need me over the next couple of weeks.  As family, that's just what we do.  I'm thankful that I have a husband that is as understanding and giving like he is because I will certainly need him to be (again) in the coming weeks.
It's frustrating to say the very least to watch your sister at such a young age have to fight this breast cancer, but she is doing it and stronger than she gave herself credit for, but Leckey (her husband) has stepped up when he needed to and been right there beside her when I couldn't be.  He has been a true gift for her and I know she knows this and appreciates it even when she doesn't take the time to say it out loud.  I know her and I know her heart and she appreciated him.  She has been fortunate to have our parents be retired and live so close as to help with the kids like they have.  They have picked them up from school, seen them off to school, taken them to ball practice and countless other things while she gets through this first part of this battle.  She made it through chemo and Tuesday she faces her surgeries.  She will have a double mastectomy, partial hysterectomy, port removed, and lymph nodes removed.  Not exactly a walk in the park, but definitely something she can get through with the help of her Lord Jesus Christ, husband, parents, in-laws (who graciously came and got the kids), sisters (whether here or not), church family, and friends.  She can do this.  There will be moments when she doesn't think she can, but trust me, she can!
I've missed Chad a lot lately (more than usual) and I can't explain why, it just is.  I'm sure there will be more moments like these and I'm sure I will get through them the best I can, but it's not been an easy couple of weeks.  I worry about the guys that served with Chad, the ones theta went to school with him, our family that miss him and the trials and tribulations so many seem to be going through right now.  I don't have answers and I don't know when things will get better and I don't know when things will settle down for all those closest to me, but I do know I have no choice, but to get up each day and face it with as much courage as I can muster up as well as the rest of us.  I guess only time will tell how things will all turn out, but I do pray that there will be quick healing for my sister and peace with all our family and especially our parents.  It is difficult to watch your children go through difficult times, but I can't imagine what they must be going through right now.
Any and all prayers we can get our direction are more than appreciated.