It took my breath away

This past Sunday we went to a restaurant in town and ran into an old friend I hadn't seen in many years.  We were kind of catching up like you do when you see someone after a long time when all of a sudden she asked how Chad was doing.  It literally took my breath away for a moment and then I composed myself and told her what happened.  I can't imagine how she couldn't have already heard about Chad especially living around here, but she hadn't and what was even harder than hearing that question for the first time since Chad passed away was knowing how awful she might have felt when she left.  I don't want her to feel bad that she didn't know and I hope to get better at hearing that question without feeling like the wind was knocked out of me.  It's no one's fault that situations like that come up and I certainly don't want to avoid talking about him, but I never want anyone to feel bad either.
So we went through the rest of the day and I was pretty busy with just little things around the house and that evening I crawled into bed to watch the red carpet and the Academy Awards (a huge waste of some precious time) and suddenly all I could do was cry.  At first I was like, really?  What brought this on?  Then I thought, maybe it just caught up with me from the afternoon and it will pass here in a moment.  Then suddenly they announced that a documentary about a football team (nothing against them at all) won over a documentary about our men and women fighting in Afghanistan and I thought, REALLY!  So you guessed it, I started crying again.  Then it just seemed like it was one little thing after another (and yes I'm sure it was exaggerated in my mind) and all I could do was cry.  So I allowed myself to have a pity party and I cried until I fell asleep.  You might think, oh that was probably, except!  I only really watched the award show to see who won best actor and you might know, I freaking fell asleep during the commercial that came on right before they were going to announce it.  Again, REALLY!  Ugh... 
Anyway, I got up Monday morning and I was fine and went to work and after work Tebo, Tia, and I met Clint and Emily (Chad's friends from high school) and had dinner with them.  We sat and talked for several hours and we just talked about Chad and little things we all remembered and even down to how Clint ate pizza rolls just like Chad eats them and that did me more good than you can imagine.  I really needed that.  In fact, Clint reminds me so much of Chad (personality and his posture) that I really didn't want to tell them good bye, but it was getting late (way past my bedtime) and Emily had homework to do and they both had to work the next morning so I tore myself away from them and went home and straight to bed.  I didn't sleep well at all Sunday night, but after spending time with Clint and Emily I slept like a baby last night. 
I guess it really does the soul good to just to be able to let your guard down and talk about someone you love so much.  Thank you Clint, Emily, Tebo, & Tia for allowing me that time.  I know it was probably a long night for ya'll, but it did me a world of good. 

I miss you buddy!