Thinking about Babies

You know, I use to think how weird it would be to see my son have a son or a daughter.  I just could never really get my head wrapped around it, but once he was married and they would discuss having a baby I started day dreaming a little about what it might be like.  In fact, I talked to Tebo about wanting to work on my "3 to 5 year plan" to allow me the privilege to either work part time or from home or not at all (yeah, like that's ever going to happen) so I could spend as much time with grand babies as I could.  This would go for Candi and Nathan's one day as well since they live here in AR, but it's different when you are thinking about your own biological child having a child.  So when Dec. 1st happened I realized I will never know what that felt like.  Well, not completely anyway.  I will always have my bonus kids from Tebo to share their babies with and I am so grateful for that, but it did cause me to pause a moment and realize that I will never get to experience that with my Chad.  Here recently I've been giving a bit more thought to all of that.  While I will never get to hold a child of Chad's there are babies out there that will in many ways take on that role.  Once of which is baby Noahh (Chad's godson).  He is so dang cute and already trying to crawl.  He has Chad's middle name (Noahh Stafford Honeyman) so in some part Chad lives on through little baby Noahh.  Also, "Across the Street Justin" is naming his son Thor Wade (we think) so again, Chad will live on through him.  He even has a puppy named after him "Wade" from TJ, while I get that's not really the same thing, it does give me warm fuzzies to know that there are so many out there that love Chad enough to want to carry on his name. 
I guess all that being said, God knew he needed to fill my void with little things that mattered to me.  He is doing that with the help of many angels I have here on earth and I just needed to share that with the world (or at least those that read my blog).  Ha!
Maybe this is one more baby step in the right direction to find a little spot of sunshine in each day regardless how I might feel.  I went to the cemetery like I do each week and that's when all this came to me.  I guess I was missing the future with Chad a little more today than usual and that's when I started thinking about babies.  Well, that, and several of Chad's close friends are having babies.  Donut had his own little "Baby Peanut" and Justin is close to having his little "Wade Nugget" and Maxx and Emily have already had their little "Noahh Stafford" so I guess that has had babies on my mind lately.  I won't lie, it would have been fun and exciting to see a little Chadman right from my Chadman, but since that wasn't in the cards that I was dealt I will be happy to share in all the little babies that come our way for us to love on (and spoil) in his place.  It will never be the same of course, but I will make lemonade with any lemons every chance I get.  This will have to be one of those times.  I have to believe should Chad have had a little one it would have looked much like him :) (a mom can dream)...
Tebo and I will love on all our babies that come into this world and spoil them rotten and be grateful for every moment we have with them. 

Baby Chad

Baby Noahh

"Wade"