Easter 2011

As I think about Easter tomorrow I have very mixed feelings. At first I was truly dreading it and maybe in the morning I will feel that way again, but for today it seems better than I was thinking it would yesterday. We've had horrible storms and last night was one for the books. We had a tornado wall cloud (very large) go right over our house, but didn't touch down or do any damage at all. The rain has been crazy and so has the wind. I told Tebo last night that I wanted to go to the cemetery this morning and make sure the flowers I put out for Chad were still there and doing okay if the weather would permit. Well, of course, I'm awakened around 5:00 this morning to more rain and wind and it sounded like it was going to be another bad storm and of course I thought I heard the tornado sirens again so I pop out of bed and come to check it out (like I was really going to take on mother nature). The hail started (only pea size this time) and the wind really picked up. No siren was sounding, but our Chad tree was really blowing over hard. At one point it looked as if the top of the tree would touch the driveway, but it never did. My BFFSS across the street text me and said breath it will be okay, your tree is going to fight hard and stand strong. She was right. I finally took all I could by myself so I went to the bedroom and tapped on Tebo's arm with my finger until he woke up :) and I started telling him about the weather. He knew right away I wasn't going to stop or relax until he got up, so he did. Any who... (back to my story) I started cleaning and reorganizing baskets in closets and little things like that and I noticed the rain had really slacked off. I asked Tebo if he thought I had enough time to get to Fayetteville and check out the flowers before it started up again. He thought it would be okay so I jumped in my truck and took off. I didn't even get to I-540 yet when here came the rain. I was tempted at first to turn around, but I really had to check on those flowers and it was Easter. I wanted to visit my baby boy's resting place before Easter came and went so I kept on trucking. It rained all the way to Fayetteville and at times really hard. I thought, oh well, it's not like I have to worry about how I look and I had my rain boots in the truck with me so I really didn't care. I turned onto Government street when all of a sudden the rain stopped. I pulled down and parked in my usual spot and not one drop fell the entire time I was there. I noticed that some flowers were blown around and I thought to myself, I sure hope I find all Chad's so I can put them back. Well, let me tell you, it was as if Chad had laid his cover (aka his hat) over his headstone and flowers because not even his TN orange ribbon/bow was moved. Everything, including the flags, were just as I had placed them earlier in the week. I had to laugh out loud for a moment. As I picked up some flowers belonging to others and returning them to the places I knew they belonged I still just felt amazed and still not one drop of rain had fallen. I made my way back to the truck and just as I was getting back on I-540 the rain started again and it rained all the way home. Things that make you go hmmmm... It was at that moment that I remembered his first Easter in 1989. He would have been a year old soon after and I was so excited to watch him hunt Easter eggs with all the other kids in the family, but apparently the hunt took place just as he was ready for his nap. There was nothing going to get in the way of his nap time, not even Easter, so he missed the big hunt with all the other kids. Of course, it just so happened that the hunt took place when it was BoBo's nap time too so they just napped together while all the festivities took place outside at grandmother's house. I will say that although he missed the hunt with all the other kids, I have truly loved looking back at this picture many times. Once he got up from his nap I hid some eggs for him and he hunted them on his own and he was a happy camper. He didn't really care as long as he got to hunt a few. We did make BoBo stay with him since he too napped during the first hunt. Ha! Anyway, as much as I hate this first Easter in 22 1/2 years without my baby boy, I am so blessed to have so many wonderful memories and 22 Easters to remember and every one of them brings a smile to my face and my heart.