Something on my mind

As my son and bonus sons begin their departures for their deployment to Afghanistan I can't help but feel a little sentimental. I know they will be safe. They are too trained not to be, but just knowing he is there and we don't have instant access to talk to him when we feel the need makes it difficult. It's hard as parents to lose the control of knowing where your kids are all the time and that they are safe, but you certainly get a crash course in it once they move out and certainly when they join the military. While I wouldn't trade this experience for him, it has sure been quite the journey. This will be his last deployment before his contract is over and I know he and Katie have to be counting down the days, but so am I. You know, there are many things people don't tell/warn you about when you are thinking of having kids and knowing how to let go and be ok with letting go is certainly one of them. I never knew this could be as hard as it has been, but if I must say so myself, I think I've done a pretty dang good job. I've had my moments, but hopefully never really let him see or know about those moments. I've tried to deal with any of that within myself and of course (bless his heart), my sweet hubby. He has certainly been a rock for me over the last few years with me adjusting to my "new normal". He has done it with grace and compassion and more understanding that I thought possible. He hasn't even really complained about the overdose of Pine Sol at times. He just knew that there was therapy in session and just let me work through it. It is just truly amazing the strength you end up finding in yourself when you have no other choice. Thank goodness I found I had more than I thought I did. Tebo might have had his doubts a time or two, but being as wonderful as he is, he never let me know it. I know there will be more adjustments once he is out of the military and settles somewhere and we begin the next chapter of a "new normal" and they start planning to have kids and me finding my place, but I know that with wonderful children like they are and my precious husband it will go as smoothly as the last few years go. I won't say that my baseboards won't have to be repainted again and there won't be a time or two that we overdose on Pine Sol, but one thing I do know for sure, we will get to the next stage with grace and love and will be better for it. That's really all I had on my mind today.