Friday, July 15, 2011

I so would if I could



If it was possible I would so go to heaven to visit Chadman today. I've needed to give him a hug and rub his head. See that sweet smile and just be in his presence. I miss him. I would love on my JessiBo and grandmother. Grandmother's birthday would have been yesterday and I almost sent Chad a text to remind him (because that's just what I do) and caught myself and then cried. Don't feel sorry for me. I just had to get my feelings and thoughts out of my head today. I did go to the cemetery at lunch today and ate my jelly and peanut butter sandwich there beside his little resting spot. Brought back so many memories of all the jelly and peanut butter sandwiches we've eaten together. Made me smile. If we could visit heaven how amazing would that be. Well, I guess it wouldn't be considered heaven, because then it would be a sad place when we had to leave so I guess it's really just an oxymoron, but I sure would give anything to just have one more visit. Please, just one more... :(

5 comments:

  1. I sure wish I could do something to give you that one more visit. To give you a million more visits. My heart breaks because I can't. I hate to see you sad and hurting. I wish I could change things. I would in a heartbeat if I could. I know this doesn't help but please know that we love you so much!

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  2. Love you, dear sister. I know exactly how you feel....

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  3. Hugs to you....and prayers for strength and healing!

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  4. After the attack on Camp Victory, I had to quit listening/reading/watching the news. Usually, when I have to drive to GA, I listen to CNN all the way. But instead I listened to country music for the first time in about a year. I heard this song about 12 times and cried for the first 5. And thought of you and Katie and Chad and Shepherd and my grandparents. And then I could just appreciate the song for what it was...a wish. A dream. And we all have them. An extra dose of hugs to help you get through those Chad days. They pop up when you least expect them.

    ps my catcha phrase to enter this was "adancein"...as in when we all get to Heaven, we'll be a-dancin'. Made me smile.

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  5. Ally! That's perfect! Thank you all so much. I know it will get better. I just have to have these kinds of days along the way. Thank you for your love and support. It helps more than you might know.

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