WOW! Talk about something that is the same no matter how much time has passed. My daddy was a Marine and his contract was up just as Vietnam was getting started and now my son is a Marine serving in Afghanistan as I type this and honestly nothing much about the Marine Corps has changed. The things my son did in boot camp are the same things my daddy did in boot camp. My daddy was on the East Coast and my son is on the West Coast, but it's all still the same. With the exception of my daddy being in Force Recon and Chad not and the fact that some of the things DIs would do to recruits when daddy was in versus now with Chad all other aspects of the Corps is the same. It was actually amazing to see how little it has really changed over the years. That tells me that consistency works! They train fine young men who I can attest become amazing men, husbands, fathers, & grandfathers. I'm so proud to say I'm a daughter and mother of a Marine! I have always been proud of these two men in my life, but every day I become more and more aware of what they go through and sacrifice for very little pay I am more proud and I truly didn't think that was even possible. I didn't get to experience what my daddy went through when he was enlisted, but I've walked every step (not literally) with my son and I know what he has gone through and continues to go through and I can tell you that there is nothing he can't do or handle with amazing grace. He himself didn't realize how little sleep he could function on or how little or terrible food he could hike miles with or without or how composed he could be when he is faced with adverisity, but I've seen him do that now consistently for almost 3 full years now. I believe through all his training and experiences with the Marine Corps he has learned not only patience, but tollerance and understanding that I don't know that he had or knew he had at 19 years old when he joined. Do I believe he would have had the heart and drive he has today at some point in his life, absolutely, but I don't believe he would have it today at 22 years old had it not been for the Corps. Yes, he chose this life and he (in a way) knew what he was getting into, but you never really know what you are getting into, because he had never been in a war before or lived so far from home with little to no contact with home before so to truly say he knew what he signed up for is a bit unfair. He knew he was giving up a lot of freedom and knew there would be people telling (yelling) orders to him and telling him when he could and/or could not do things, but there was no way he could have ever known what to expect of war and the sacrifices he would truly be making. I try very hard not to complain too much about being tired, or not sleeping all night or being hot or cold, because every time those words leave my mouth I immediately feel guilty thinking where my baby boy must be sleeping, if he is sleeping at all or what he had to eat, if anything at all or what the weather must be like there and especially since he can't just go take a shower or sleep in. He doesn't even get days off of work and "if" he gets an hour or two of R&R there is most likely a good chance that will be interupted with something they didn't see coming. You see, until you actually have a child that enters into the military and deploys to war it would be very difficult to truly understand what it must feel like not knowing for sure what your son is experiencing at this moment in time. I am very proud of him. I'm so proud that proud doesn't seem like a strong enough word for what I feel and I truly believe in God and I know he is protecting him 24/7, but knowing and feeling all that does not take away the fear and anxiety that goes along with no longer being able to wrap my arms around my son and protect him at all costs. It doesn't take away that sharp pain in my heart of just not knowing for sure what he is going through or how he feels at this moment and where he is. It's a terrible feeling all the time, but I don't obsess about it. I blog about it instead and then try to just leave it in my blog or my personal journal. I know my son is very well trained, prepared, guided, leading, surviving, and training others wherever he is. I know this. What I also know is when I see him, hear his voice, look at his pictures, or remember memories I have with/about him I still see a precious little tiny curly headed barefoot boy that talks (what little he would talk) around his "sassy" and is carrying around a ragged feather pillow (that use to be mine) with this little blue teddy bear with the satin rubbed off that Aunt Sharon gave him in the hospital when he was born dragging the baby blanket that grandmother made for him wherever he goes. That's what I see today and that's what I will always see in him. Regardless how big and bad a Marine he is, that is what I will always and forever see. I am one proud Marine Mom of Corporal Wade, Chad Stafford and a very proud daughter of a freaking genius, Lance Corporal Croft, Larry Dean! Never forget that MEN!
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