~Still Holding Out For You by SheDaisy (w/lyrics)~

I know when most people hear this song they think of husband/wife, girlfriend/boyfriend, etc., but what I think of is Chad.  I know he knew I loved him, but the only two calls I received from him while he was in Afghanistan the call was dropped before I could tell him I loved him.  On the last call I received one week before his death I actually said out loud that the next time he calls I'm telling him I love him first just in case the call gets dropped again before I get the chance. 
I won't lie, this weekend being the first weekend of college football was very difficult.  I missed him even more since usually when TN was playing he and I would call or text back and forth throughout the game and he wasn't here for me to do that with this time.  The year he was deployed during football season I would send him news clippings to keep him up to date on Peyton Manning and the Colts as well as on the TN Vols.  It was hard not sharing all that with him this weekend.  I almost didn't even watch the game for that reason alone, but I did.  I had to get up several times during the game and do other things when I was tempted to call or text him about the game so I wouldn't just fall apart.  I know the first time I see Peyton play with the Colts will be difficult too.  I know the first year is expected to be one of the hardest, but I don't know how this will ever have a new normal.
I went to the cemetery today at lunch and someone (unknown to me) left the sweetest basket of sunflowers (artificial) and I loved seeing those there.  I may never know who left them, but it doesn't matter.  Someone had my son on their minds and in their hearts this weekend and showed that by leaving those flowers.  It made my heart smile. 
I know I have this foundation http://www.wingsforourtroops.com/ we are working on, but this weekend there was a family that sent me a request wanted to know if I could help them get to their son before he deploys and we aren't there yet.  I have to tell you that was another very hard thing to do, to tell this mom that I can't help her yet.  I immediately thought to myself, oh my, what if that were me and I didn't have that time with Chad before he left.  It broke my heart.  I'm still so broken over that right now. 
I really need lots of prayers that this foundation gets kicked off soon and we can start purchasing tickets for our Marines.  I need to see that first Marine pick up that ticket and go home to love on their families.  I know it takes time and I know anything worth having takes a lot of work and patience, but honestly, I just want this to be done.  Who knew it would be this hard to get something like this kicked off and running ***sigh***.
I know this too shall pass and I know there will be other days like this and I will hear tons of other songs that hit my heart a little harder than others, but today came a bit by surprise.  I've thought about this family wanting to get from NC to NY before their son deploys and there was nothing I could do for them.  If there is anyone out there reading this post and you know of a way to help this family please reach out to me and let me know.  They are trying to get there by Sept. 22nd.  I know it's not a lot of time, but if anyone knows of anything that could be done to help them that would be an awesome way of paying it forward. 
Maybe that's the reason my heart feels more heavy today than usual, but regardless the reason, it is heavier.