Missing my boy, but so thankful for my girl...

I, like Katie, have been very emotional the last 24 hours. I think I thought as long as we didn't have an actually date for Chad's next deployment that maybe there was a chance it wouldn't happen. Well, Katie found out this week that he will deploy in October. We've both been quite the mess. Bless her heart, she is so sunburned and on top of that had to find out about deployment and missing him due to him being in the field at Bridgeport so there is no communication with him until tomorrow just makes it that much harder. My only real connection with him these days while he is in Bridgeport for 45 days is through Katie and she has been amazing at letting me know how he is and when she talks to him. I can never show how much I appreciate that, because even though he is married now and a Marine, I'm still momma and I miss my baby boy all the time. I'm just so grateful he has her there by his side to care for him and love him when I can't be there for sure. Thank you Katie girl. I know she and I will both get through this second and final deployment just fine and together. We experienced his first deployment together and that's when we actually got to really know each other. We spent the holidays together that he was gone and we kept each other comforted when we had our really bad days missing him. I truly believe with this entire experience we will continue to build a bond together that will last forever. That is my prayer anyway. She is a piece of my baby boy now and therefore a piece of me. Together she and I will get through deployment again and help him get through it. As hard as this is for us it is even harder for him. He is the one that will be without the comforts of home and be in harms way with very little to no sleep at times in horible conditions and the last thing Katie or I want is for him to worry about us while he is in Afghanistan so our job as wife and mother is a little harder because we have to make sure we are encouraging and lifting him up so we have developed a wonderful relationship and understanding between the two of us to lift each other up and fall apart together so Chad doesn't have to know. Katie has done an amazing job with that and I know she will only get better. I feel I've tried to do as good a job, but I fail miserably at times, but I truly do try to do that when I'm not on the phone with him, but some days I just can't be strong. I will work to do much better this time. I promise Chadman. :)

If all this experience has taught me anything, it is to love my kids every chance I get and try so hard to not let the little things that bother me hang on because honestly, until you can't put your arms around you children whenever you want to or even pick up the phone and hear their voice you don't really understand the meaning of this. If you've been in that situation you know all too well how that feels. Thank you Katie for being my daugther and loving me and being my link and connection with my Chadman. Thank you for loving him and being his rock. He needs that now more than ever and the two of you will be so much closer and stronger for having gone through all this and I know that he is working so hard to set up your lives for after the military to be better than you could have ever imagined. As hard as today is tomorrow will be amazing. You just remember that and always know that you have your mom right here any time you need me. Chad, I love you and I miss you so much, but I could not be more proud of you! I know I tell you that all the time, but it won't be until you are a father one day that you will truly know exactly what those words actually mean. I'm so thankful to have Katie in our lives to be that connection to you when I can't hear your voice or put my arms around you. I want only the best and all the happiness for you both and I know you will have a stronger marriage and relationship for having gone through all this together. I love you both and miss you both terribly! Love, mom.